(We asked our parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba to weigh in too. You'll find her tips here.)
One of the things that bothered me the most when my son left for college was that his room looked so.....empty....so unlived in. As my daughter prepares to leave in two weeks, she has commented that she wants to leave her room looking like her room, so that when she comes home she won't feel like she's staying in someone else's space. I like that, and I'm glad she feels that way. This way when I walk by her room, it'll still have pictures out of her and her friends, posters on the wall, pillows on the bed, etc. I know that it will reassure me that she isn't gone forever, she's just away and will be home now and then.
-- nancyws119
What will I miss the most? I don't know ... seeing their faces every day ... knowing they're safe at home at night ... hearing about their lives on a regular basis...
-- georapper
I've bid 3 of my 4 goodbye in the past 3 years, though not through sending them off to college -- I send mine off to the US military. All I can say about how to cope: I never wash their pillowcase after they go. Then I always have something that smells like them, even when they're far, far away. When one of my DSs spent time in Iraq last year, he was able to come home for a week before he had to leave -- and the first thing I did after he and his wife left the room they shared while they were here was nab the pillowcase that smelled like him! LOL
-- bunnierose
Well mine have all finished college now, but when the last one -- our son -- left, he got us a dog. Not crazy about it at first but once he was gone I totally understood why he did it. He said the dog was for him but I think he got her to keep us company -- and that she did. She got all the love and attention that used to go to the 3 kids when they were home.
-- firsttimegram
When my last one went away to university I was working and I also took up doing some painting again and things like that and joined a few activity clubs -- I think this helped.
-- janethom
When our DS left for college, I was a mess when it came time to say goodbye. That was okay because it was just our family in his dorm room at the time. He was excited, and I think he chalked my emotions up to my being "a girl." But this time I'm sending my baby, my DD off to school. She and I are very close, and our emotions run about the same very often. The other day she said to me, "Please don't be a mess when you get ready to leave, because if you are, then I will be too." What wonderful instruction from DD! And so, when the time comes, I will not cry and be a mess. I will pull all of my strength together and show her that college is a new beginning, and an adventure. After I leave.....then I will fall apart.
-- nancyws119
Even though it hurts, it is actually better when they don't call you. It means they are doing fine and making new friends!
-- mom_julsie
It's tough leaving our kids at school. There is no gettng around it. Having gone through it once already, I thought it would be easier the second time around and it was, up to a certain point. Driving to school, setting up his room and leaving him were easier than the first time around. Knowing that he was so happy, had friends already and that the school was relatively close to home, made it easier than when we left our DD 4 years ago. However, it was just as difficult when we got home. I've been crying since late last night. I know he's happy and that helps trememdously, but I just miss him terribly. I'm dying to call him, but I won't. As someone said, no news is good news and so I'll wait for his call.
-- mily12
Don't dwell on the fact that your child is gone -- stay busy. Look forward to the times when he/she will come home for vacations. Thanksgiving and Christmas really aren't that far away.
-- frencher