What is the value of sex to a marriage? Although men and women may answer this question differently, most agree that sex is a critical element of a good marriage. However is it the quality of the sex rather than frequency alone that matters? And how does our early learning about sex contribute to the quality and pattern of sexual relating we develop in our marriage?

There are many obstacles that can act as potential roadblocks to rewarding sexual intimacy in a marital relationship. One primary theme is the cultural current most of us experienced from childhood which clearly makes all sex "nasty." Regardless of our participation in the "sexual revolution" early associations can haunt us, particularly when we marry. I remember the first time I found out about sex and the fact that my parents had "it" with each other. I was appalled that they would do such things to one another with such private parts of their bodies (heretofore used only in the bathroom as far as I knew). I was 10 years old and took the first opportunity to tell my younger 9 year old cousin. She immediately revoked such illicit behavior from her own parents' bedroom with the declaration "My father would never do that  to my mother!" That stopped our discussions on the topic for some time.