When couples split, the wife's standard of living dives by 30 percent the first year after a divorce, while the husband's rises 10 percent or more. And alimony is a relic of the past. Fewer than 15 percent of divorced women are awarded it. Of those, 34 percent never receive a penny of what's due them.

Protect yourself by taking these steps if your marriage is in jeopardy:

Step 1: Establish your own credit

Establish your own credit Call an attorney Time your divorce Count on a pension Close all joint accounts Keep it in low gear

Make sure your name is listed on all household accounts and investments. And be certain you have at least one credit card in your name. This will establish your own creditworthiness, which is essential when you're on your own.

Build a good history by paying off your balance regularly and on time. Open a bank account in your own name too.

Step 2: Call an attorney

Find an impartial person to evaluate your assets and push for the best possible settlement. You might even look into hiring a new type of accountant, called a "forensic specialist," who can ferret out any assets you might be unaware of.

Remember you're paying for this expert's time -- anywhere from $200 to $600 an hour.

Step 3: Time your divorce

If the two of you were married at least 10 years and you don't remarry, you can qualify for Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse's earnings when both of you reach 62. That's even if he has remarried or hasn't yet retired and begun to receive benefits himself.

Step 4: Count on a pension

Divorcing women often choose the house or up-front cash over their soon-to-be ex's pension. That can be a big mistake. Over time, that pension can balloon tax-deferred to $1 million or more, depending on your ex-husband's salary.

In order to get your share of a pension, 401K or an individual retirement account (IRA), you'll need your lawyer to petition a state court for a qualified domestic-relations order (QDRO) for a judge to approve. You might get a onetime payout, monthly payments at retirement or a lump sum transferred into your own IRA.

Step 5: Deal with all joint accounts

Once you have your own credit in place, inform any joint-credit-card companies in writing that you are separated and will not be responsible for any new charges. The balance, however, must be paid off before creditors will close the account.

Next, tackle your joint bank accounts. In some cases you may need to keep a joint account open to pay for household expenses until the divorce is final. Talk with your spouse and lawyer about asking the bank to freeze the account. That way both you and your spouse must sign before any transaction can be made.

Joint brokerage accounts fall into the same category. Write at once and notify the broker that you are separated, and ask that the broker not make any transactions without both spouses' approval.

Step 6: Keep it in low gear

Sure you feel lousy and want to do something to make yourself feel better. But don't do anything rash like spring for a new set of wheels or make wild forays into the stock market. There are plenty of people out there anxious to get ahold of your money for their gain, not yours. It's best to let your head clear for a few months before you plunge into any big-ticket money moves.