THE BEHAVIOR: Your child doesn't listen. You ask your son to get ready for bed, and he just sits there pretending not to hear you. Or you ask your daughter to pick her clothes up off the floor, and she says, "I will... later," but it never gets done unless you do it for her. It's time to leave but your little one refuses to come out of the pool.

Not listening is right up there at the top of the list of things that drive parents crazy. "Go to your room and don't come out until you're ready to behave." "How many times do I have to ask?" "Okay, I'm leaving now... good-bye, I said I'm leaving now... you've got to the count of three to get out of the pool!"

THE PROBLEM: Kids have learned that they don't have to cooperate right away. Most of us start off asking our kids to do something nicely, and if they don't listen we ask a second time using a louder and firmer tone of voice and then we escalate to threats, "If you don't come to the table this instant you won't get any desert!"