If there is one word that is associated with indulgent child rearing, it is spoiled. We've all seen kids who are spoiled. There's a greediness about them. They throw tantrums in toy stores when their parents won't buy them what they want. They always seem to want more and expect to get their own way. They have trouble sharing. The needs of family, friends, and the wider world recede like the earth in the rearview mirror of a starship.

We see the spoiled child as tainted and devalued. He has been overindulged and over-praised. He has not had to earn what he has: it has been given to him. An essential part of what we talk about when we talk about character is missing in him. He lacks integrity, fortitude, and a moral center. And it's not just adults who notice bratty behavior. One 17-year-old girl I interviewed said: "About half the kids I know are really spoiled and they know it. They can get away with anything. It doesn't matter what they do, their parents are like, 'Oh, it's okay, honey.'"