While rolling over, walking, and talking are important developmental landmarks for all babies, getting them to sleep through the night is a critical step forward for parents!

Most new parents would give the world for a good night's sleep, but do not know how to get there. You can help to promote your baby's development of good sleeping patterns and encourage your baby to sleep through the night.

When your newborn is a few days old, the main problem is often that his or her daytime sleep and nighttime sleep are reversed. This is not surprising. Many babies come out of total darkness in utero, into a hospital delivery room and then nursery, where the lights are on 24 hours a day.

Most babies can adjust to a day and night schedule on their own in two or three weeks, but that is a long time for tired parents to stay up all night! To help shorten your baby's adjustment period, first, minimize stimulation at night. Feed, burp, change, and hold your baby quietly, quickly, and in the dark. During the day, try to keep your baby awake and active for 20 minutes after each feeding by changing positions, moving around, and providing visual stimulation and a variety of sounds.

Generally, babies of average size sleep for three hours between feedings at night (four if you are really lucky), and nurse every two to three hours during the day. It is a rare baby that can accommodate to the proverbial "four hour schedule." It also helps to remember that "three hours between feedings" is calculated from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next. Given that in the very beginning, feeding, burping and diapering may take nearly an hour, that leaves you with barely two hours of sleep at a time.

Once your baby gets on a more reasonable schedule of waking two or three times a night (that is between 8pm and 6am), you are in better shape. Nevertheless. you may still be in for a fairly long haul before you get a full night sleep.

Some babies start sleeping through the night on their own around three or four months. But most babies need at least one night feeding for quite a while longer.

Some babies are just plain ravenous! If your baby seems hungry both during the day and at night, he might still really need that 2am feeding. However, if your baby is unusually hungry only at night, then it is likely that he is waking for your company and comforting -- not the calories.

A good time to begin a "going-to-sleep" routineis when your baby is "settled in" -- about three months old.

Into the Crib Awake

Many young infants are accustomed to falling asleep at the breast or while being rocked in a parent's arms. This works well for the first two to three months. But between three and four months, it is very important to start putting your baby down in the crib awake every time she goes to sleep. She needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. Do not put your baby to sleep with a bottle. It can cause tooth decay and dependence on feeding as a way of going to sleep.

Go through your bedtime routine (see below), then swiftly and smoothly put the baby in the crib and say your "good night." If your baby really fusses, stay with her until she goes to sleep but try to use just your voice to calm her down. If she gets really mad, you can try to pat her back, and if that does not help, pick her up, soothe her for a couple of minutes and put her back down in the crib, still awake. Don't let her fall asleep in your arms! This can be very trying with some babies. You may have to repeat the "picking up-soothing-putting down" routine over and over, for up to an hour on the first night. It'll be much easier on subsequent nights.

If you start early enough (three months) and you first get your baby attached to a transitional object, he'll learn to fall asleep in the cribs fairly easily. This is critical: learning early how to fall asleep in the crib will enable the baby to go back to sleep by himself in the middle of the night later, when he no longer requires a nighttime feeding. If the baby is accustomed to falling asleep in your arms at bedtime, he'll need you in the middle of the night, too.

A "Going to Bed" Routine

Start establishing a very simple, consistent "going-to-bed" routine, such as bath, diapering, nursing or bottle, a kiss, a song and "into the crib." The importance of this routine is that it establishes a predictable set of events which will help your baby "unwind" and get ready to go to sleep.

When you wean your baby, gradually replace the feeding with cuddling, a brief bedtime story or song, or saying good night to the moon and the stuffed animals in the room.

The Middle of the Night Routine

If you have done all the "preparatory work" and your baby does not start sleeping through the night on her own by the time she is seven months and weighs at least 14 pounds, you can start the "sleep routine training." Similarly, if your baby did sleep through the night for a while and started waking up again (a very common occurrence), start the sleep routine. However, if your baby starts waking up after having slept through the night, first, ask yourself what is going on in her life.

Any of the following events, and other similar changes, can cause sleep disruption:

• Changes in the family's routine, such as a trip, someone's absence, an illness, a move to a new house or a new room, or even rearranging the baby's room and crib
• A new separation from mother or father
• The onset of "stranger anxiety" (usually around eight to nine months)
• Teething
• Starting to crawl or walk or other major developmental advances
• Visitors staying at your house.

If any of these changes has occurred, you must first address the new situation. With an illness or teething, wait for it to pass. With changes involving separation or greater mobility, allow some time for adjustment and increase your physical closeness during the day.

Eliminate Nighttime Feeds

If your baby has been breastfeeding at night, you can try to have your partner comfort him in the middle of the night.

The sleep routine is simple and effective, but it is often very hard for the first few nights. One of the parents (preferably the father or non-nursing partner, if the mother is nursing) sleeps in the baby's room for a few nights. Whenever the baby wakes up try to get her back to sleep by just using your voice, saying something along the lines of: "I am here, go back to sleep." If the baby is very upset, you can try patting her back along with talking. If that does not work (i.e. another ten minutes of real crying), pick up your baby and soothe her in your arms (no breast or bottle, though). When she calms down, but before she falls asleep in your arms, put her back in the crib. This may create the "yo-yo effect" -- you'll be picking your baby up, soothing her and putting her down to renewed howling, over and over. Do not despair: This is the essence of the "training" -- reassuring your baby that you are there to comfort her, but insisting that she fall asleep in her crib Eventually your baby will fall asleep.

It's a good idea to keep a clock that you can see in the dark in your baby's rooms. That way, you can see how much time has actually gone by: It will seem like hours! Keep a log of how long it takes your baby to go back to sleep each time, and how many times she awakens at night. The log will help you see the progress you are making and most likely you won't be needing it after a week.

The sleep routine is not a remedy "once and for all." You do it every time your baby starts waking up at night. Most infants and toddlers have recurrent periods of sleep disruption due to illness, changes, the separation process and other anxieties. Each baby is different and each circumstance has its unique features: These suggestions are general guidelines, not a "recipe." If you find that the suggestions outlined here do not work for you and your baby, you should seek professional guidance and counseling.

Copyright 1995 by Rachel Biale. All rights reserved. This article may be printed out for personal use but may not be reprinted in any other manner, including electronic, without prior written consent from the author.