Maintaining intimacy is very important following the birth of a baby. And it's not always easy. But discovering new ways to share intimacy will help both you and your partner to more easily weather the stresses of new parenthood.

I don't believe a new mom ever intends to let intimacy take a back seat. Fatigue can make a couple of hours of sleep seem awfully appealing, even when your partner is waiting for you with open arms. I'm certain that your husband speaks for many dads-to-be when he says, "Please don't stop having sex this time."

A nursing mom may very likely feel "touched-out" by the end of a long day. This does not mean she doesn't need or want to be touched. She may just need a bit of help to temporarily ease from the role of mother to lover. She can ask her partner for help, and begin sharing her needs for touch and romance -- not just at bedtime, but throughout the day. Most men are more than willing to help out, especially if it means they'll be enjoying their partner's company, both in and out of bed.

You're right -- "mechanics" shouldn't be getting in the way of intimacy. Making love should not be uncomfortable. A nursing mother may find that she experiences a decrease in vaginal lubrication. This can occur even when she is fully aroused. It's important to understand that her lack of lubrication does not indicate a lack of desire. Though vaginal dryness can make lovemaking uncomfortable for both partners, this is easy to remedy. You will probably find lovemaking is once again comfortable if you use a water soluble lubricant, such as Astroglide, Liquid Silk or ForPlay. If it begins to dry out during lovemaking, wet with water or saliva, or simply reapply.

It is common for milk to spray as a woman reaches orgasm. This is more common in the early months following birth, and when your breasts are full. The hormone, oxytocin, that is released during orgasm also causes your milk to eject. Since this part of your sexuality isn't especially thrilling to you or your partner, you may be able to lessen the possibility of this occurring by nursing your little one just before you become intimate. (This can also help to increase the chance that you will have a bit of uninterrupted time together while baby peacefully sleeps.) If your milk still sprays and you find it more comfortable to wear a bra to bed, why not choose some lingerie that will make you feel and look sexy. It isn't necessary to wear a frumpy looking nursing bra to bed! You can even slip a thick cotton nursing pad into your lacy bra to help catch the flow. And if you still manage to get doused with a bit of milk, why not suggest that you and your partner shower together afterwards?

Creativity is important! Your newborn may wake while you are in the throes of passion and you will need to temporarily postpone lovemaking. You can still caress and stroke each other to help remain in the mood as your little one drifts back off to sleep. Or you may feel uncomfortable making love when sleeping in the same room with your baby. Try a new location. This will give you both a chance to explore other areas of your house. You may very well find that this openness and experimentation actually begins to spice up your sex life, and that it is better than ever. My very best wishes to you and your family!